Seriously… I never expected things to turn out like this… I didn’t expect my feelings to be reciprocated… :’) You must be wondering, right? Yes… Here, I want to tell you everything…
Yesterday, I was online on Facebook as usual, my daily routine. And as usual, I stalked him nonstop. Every time I’m online, I open a new tab just for his Facebook. :p It’s quite silly, I know.
So, I read his status. It was kind of strange and made me curious about him. I wanted to comment on his status, but I felt too shy. So, I decided it was better to send him an instant message instead. But he didn’t reply. Maybe he was busy. So, I went back to blogging.
A few hours later, he replied to my instant message. And as usual, I got “excited.” :p Then, we started chatting. We talked about many things, and that night was special because we discussed our personal lives. But he mostly dug into my personal life. -..-ll So unfair.
During our chat, I told him about my love story that caused me pain for five years and even made me hate men.
Hmm… After that, I showed him a poetry video that I had written. And there, we began to have deeper conversations. He asked me whether I had fallen in love or was searching for love.
I told him that the video I made was a year old now. He then wanted to know what inspired the poetry. So, I explained that it was inspired by my own life experiences. I went into detail because he was curious to know. After I finished telling him, he said it wasn’t true love; it meant I was blinded by love. When I thought about it, I realized I had typed it wrong; it wasn’t true love but first love. :) And he was my second love. :’) He gave me a lot of advice and words of encouragement. :’)
Haha, it was past goodness knows how late that night when both of us were wide awake. :p Unexpectedly, I thought I was the only one stalking him, but turns out, he’s been stalking me too. He got caught when he confessed knowing about my participation in the national service program (PLKN) like he did. That led us to talk about getting caught. He mentioned reading my posts and wanted to know who I was referring to all this time. My heart felt like it was about to burst, you know? I didn’t know what to say, but inside I was screaming (haha, as if we’re both silly). Then, out of nowhere, he started pressuring me to say how I felt (do you want to know that much? Well, I’ll tell you, but don’t you dare run away). Haha, before I could even tell him, he said he’d try to guess on his own. Zassss! My eyes lit up reading his sentence. Then, he asked, “Is it me?” Whoops! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! I felt like going offline immediately to hide my embarrassment. How did he even know? After that, whether I wanted to or not, I thought back. It’s better for me to tell the truth and be prepared for whatever his answer is.
After I confessed, I told him I didn’t want to hear anything from him because I knew his words must have been heart-stabbing. Yeah, I’m not cute, and I’m not going to be included in his dream girl. He said I’m not like that. He said I’m sweet, nice, cute, and good at playing badminton. @_@ “Do you want to deceive me or do you want to speak with your actions?” :/ ’By the way. My suspicions were completely off.
He gave an answer that I truly didn’t expect. Suddenly, he said he was touched by my confession. My confession made him feel moved, happy, and unexpectedly joyful. It turns out, there’s a girl like me who he’s excited about. Apparently, he also likes me, but when I asked since when, he said he wasn’t sure. (I mean, it’s been a long time.)
And here I am, left speechless by his confession. :’) I really didn’t expect him to give such positive feedback. I swear, you’re a true gentleman! Thank you so much! :’)
Regardless of what happens, me and him have yet to take the next step because he’s not ready yet. So, I told him I understand his decision and will still wait for him. Yeah, I’ll wait for him. But during that time, I’ll also be prepared if I’m not his choice in the future. Maybe there will be a better girl who suits him more later on?
*I accept your decision Because your It’s your heart’s decision is yours alone, and I have ni right over it. even though I know tears will flooding my eyes. T_T
* I’m sorry. Right now, my behavior is a bit reserved because I get nervous when I’m around you. Maybe when I get used to being around you, I’ll be my true self. :’) Thank you for understanding my situation right now. :)
*** And thank you for dinner earlier. You treated me to dinner, and you mentioned it was because you feel touched, right? anonononoo. . soo, sweeeet ! :))
#okay ! Okay! I love you. :) I hope your feelings for me are sincere, and may you accept me for who I am. As you said, “be yourself.” ^^ May our acquaintance lead to a lasting relationship in the future. Ameen.
**These are some of the convo between me and him..
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